Vegetarian, Lacto Ova, Vegans, OH MY!

One of the things that I'm continually confronted with when people find out I'm a vegetarian is the question, "but you eat fish, right?" Uh, no, not unless its made out of sea weed. Most people are genuinely curious and just confused. Some people are complete jerks, but that's not a news flash, is it?

Honestly, I can understand the confusion. For one thing, Vegetarianism in the United States is viewed with great suspicion. If you're a Vegetarian, you might be a communist. If you're a Vegetarian, you might practice Wicca. Surely underneath that cute little sweater set and madras plaid skirt, beats the heart of a tree hugging, unshaven wildebeest, right? Hardly.

For another thing, we Vegetarians are a diverse lot in how WE even define what we eat. You have the occasional vegetarian. The Lacto Ova Vegetarian. The Pescitarian. The Chickaterian. The no red meat vegetarian - which aren't even vegetarians at all but eat everything but red meat and use the word vegetarian because it has some sort of "I'm so damn healthy" cache, and the Vegans, that Anthony Bourdain, God love him, refers to as the Hezbollah of the culinary world. That absolutely cracks me up.

So, let me help you out with this. These are my definitions so if you have a problem with them, get your own blog! Its my story, and I'm sticking with it.

Vegetarian. This is a person, like myself that shuns all meat products in their diet. Period.

Vegans. Veganism, to me, is more of a politicized way of approaching the human versus animal connundrum. Vegans don't just take the meat out of their diet, they try to eliminate all animal products from their lives. No leather. No honey. No fur. Duh. Its a tough standard and encompasses many more facets of life than just what's going in the pie hole.

Chickatarians. I made that word up, bet you couldn't tell, to describe people that are vegetarians who will from time to time eat chicken.

Lacto Ova Vegetarians. Will eat eggs and dairy products.
Pescitarians. Will eat fish.

No Red Meat Vegetarians. Get over yourself! You're a meat eater. Nanny Nanny boo boo.

I'm a vegetarian. But I'm also a vegetarian that lives in the real world and I know that sometimes you just have to make accommodations. Case in point. My Mom and I recently went on a fabulous FABULOUS cruise to Alaska. I was quite impressed that in the seated dining room each night they had a full on vegetarian selection for dinner. It was well thought out, tastefully presented and plain old tasteful! The problem was that there weren't any real protein sources for vegetarians....a state of existence that I refer to as Bunny Syndrome. More on that in a minute. So, as we were very active on the trip and since I didn't somehow morph into a bunny and no longer need a full range of amino acids to complete my protein requirements, I fell off the vegetable truck and ate fish and yes, even a piece of steak. It was delicious. I won't lie, but it was also a digestive nightmare, if you get my drift!

The problem with slipping off the vegetable truck every now and then to sample delights from our furred, feathered and scaly co-planeters, is that it makes it that much harder to be disciplined on a daily basis when you CAN be a vegetarian despite having meat and meat products in the house for your omnivorous family. I admit I'm having a hard time getting back on the truck completely. Not from lack of desire, but sometimes that little bite of this or that is just so tempting. This is part of why I'm writing this blog, because I feel like if its in print, in front of me, I have a higher level of accountability to stay true to eating in a manner that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, is right for me.

Bunny Syndrome. Right after someone says, but you still eat fish, and find out they are wrong, the next thing out of their mouths is, oh I love vegetables too. Great! Eat more of them! One of the problems that new vegetarians make is the thinking that vegetarian means vegetables only. It doesn't. You're still a human being. You still have protein needs that differentiate you from a bunny. Now of course you can get your protein needs met on a vegetarian diet by combining grains, beans, and nuts, you just can't do it eating nothing but lettuce and carrots. Bunny Syndrome is a great way to get sick. If you're just starting out on the whole vegetarian path, check out the starter kit on http://www.vegetariantimes.com/ Well worth it.

Another problem that nascent vegetarians run into is Potato Syndrome. I am absolutely convinced that when someone says they tried to be a vegetarian once and gained weight that they were in fact, suffering from Potato Syndrome. Potato Syndrome occurs when you switch off of meat and onto wonderful starchy filling things like potatos, rice, pasta etc. Its a good way to get fat and a good way to get sick.

Being a vegetarian is less limiting than you think and it does force you to pay attention to what you are eating and I personally think thats a good thing!  Here are my rules of thumb for doing it sanely and in a way that really is healthy.  Think Varied. Think Balanced. Think Colorful. If you're just thinking baked potato for dinner or if fries are starting to be your go to vegetable, you got a problem on your hands!