Corn Chip Porn

Today I am having a fat day. Don't you just hate those? Seriously. I like to think I'm just on a plateau but that's a lie. Plateau implies that you're doing everything you're supposed to and your body is just on pause. I'm not really plateauing. Let me explain. Yesterday, I ran for a hour, great work out. Felt great. Was charged up. Let myself get too hungry and then put away an entire order of chips and salsa at Harper's http://www.harpersgroup.com/ by myself. In case you haven't figured this out, I don't have a sweet tooth, I have salty, crispy savory teeth and chips and salsa are a particular weak spot.  These were delicious too. Yellow corn. Nice and crisp. Just the right amount of salt for a change and I love the smokey salsa at Harper's. While I was inhaling them, the guilt meter was off the scale but did that slow me down? Not even a nanosecond, unfortunately, and all the good I did in the run came completely undone. So no, I'm not plateauing, I'm treading water trying to stay even by exercising enough to keep the sinning in check but that's a loss leader because if I even slip a day, the fat wins. You know it. I know it. All those millions of little fat cells scream and holler like baby birds wanting to be fed and the more you feed them the more they want. Greedy bastards.

Yesterday in the War on Fat, the fat won and it won by default, not because I put up a heroic battle and died bloody from the fight. Nope, I threw in the towel with the "I'll have chips and salsa"order, feeling at the time, quite smug, for declining the spinach and artichoke dip and Betty's pimento cheese - I am a vegetarian after all (can't you just hear the superiority in that). What a hypocrite.  Then of course, I also came home and ate dinner. What is wrong with me?  Snacks....you are the Devil.

So today, I'm sort of disgusted with myself. I'm in a bad mood and its ridiculous. Of course, I'm wanting to do the Fat Chick thing, too.  You know the one, where you misbehave one day, vow not to eat the next day (like that's really going to even things up) then end up too hungry and rather than sit down to a proper meal - because that would violate the I'm not eating today oath - you end up grazing all day and probably consume three times the calories you would if you ate.  The good news is that I'm actually aware of the fact I'm doing this.  Awareness is some sort of victory, isn't it?  I didn't win yesterday but I'm going to win today.  As soon as I finish writing this I'm going into the kitchen to fix a proper breakfast and I will eat like a normal, sane healthy person today and the baby bird fat cells can just suck it!

Climbing back into the saddle. Trying to master this self control moderation thing. Note to self. If you get too hungry, you will fail, so don't let yourself get too hungry and then order chips and salsa, idiot.

PM Update.  Today was great.  After venting my spleen this morning.  I did have a good breakfast.  Ate like a normal person all day and tonight I feel like I won the days battle.  YEAH TEAM!